It is the crack of dawn, another senseless day about to start,
First sleep escaped me, nightmares then tore me all apart.
I’m all alone, whoever comes, he’s not the one I chose.
He sits right next to me, yet nothing makes us close.
What happened to my love for people and compassion?
Immersed in misery, meat and blood I see in my obsession.
My soul is frozen in life’s chilling frost,
Icy barriers surround me, here I am forever lost.
Isn’t a gorgeous girl just like a winter butterfly?
Instead of hiding in the warmth, she attempts to fly.
The earth feels sticky underfoot, I’m almost out of breath,
Both sorrow and joy I see in the approach of death.
Life has lost its meaning – the fount has been exhausted
In my soul. I see the end now, the abyss of death, instead.
There is no one to turn to, no place to go…
In Kaaba I see idols, on Islam’s body sits a crow.
Is it an Oblomov syndrome or, perhaps, a serious illness?
Let my skin dry out but spare my heart from emptiness.
I am trying to patch up the beshmet of my soul,
Medication does not help, it only widens the hole.
When lonely, I used to sing, making it less tough,
Now my voice is hoarse, I cannot sing, I cough.
1913
В оригинале на татарском: Хәстә хәле
В переводе на русский язык: Больной (Перевод Д.Бродского)